


Sortilege

by angelsaves



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drug Withdrawal, F/F, Road Trips, Tarot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 15:56:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10193462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsaves/pseuds/angelsaves
Summary: Izzy gets a tarot reading to give some structure to her life. Clary sticks around.betaed by the most excellent madecunningly!





	

Izzy is ready to do something -- anything -- to prove that she's back to her old self, fully capable of Shadowhunting with the best of them. She just doesn't know _what_.

She's never been the best at sitting down and coming up with a plan. They usually just come to her, spur-of-the-moment, lashing out like her whip. This is a new situation.

"Maybe you should talk to someone," Clary suggests, tentatively.

"I've heard of a warlock who channels her power through tarot cards," Izzy says. "That seems like a fun way to waste some time."

"That's not what I -- sure," Clary says, changing tacks mid-sentence. "Do you want me to come?"

"If you want," Izzy says carelessly, pulling on her boots. "We can go to that crepe place, too -- it's not too far."

"Ooh." Clary's eyes shine, and for some reason, Izzy thinks about how the raspberry sauce had looked on the corner of Clary's mouth the last time they had crepes. Maybe she's hungry. "I"ll get my coat."

***

_Izzy was strong and brave and independent, and she felt like she was splitting apart at the seams. "I'm going to die without more_ yin fen _," she said to Clary, her voice sounding distant to her own ears. "I know where Aldertree keeps it. You could get me just a little --"_

_"No," Clary said gently. "You have to go cold turkey. You told me yourself, it's the only way."_

_Everything smelled cloyingly of roses. Izzy wanted to die. "Maybe I lied."_

_"You didn't." Clary's hand was cool on her forehead. Izzy couldn't help herself; she leaned into the touch. "I'm going to stay here and take care of you."_

_"Clary," Izzy said, but then a wave of pain overtook her, and by the time it receded, she couldn't remember what she'd meant to say. She hissed instead, raspy, and Clary petted her head again._

_"It's okay," Clary said. "It won't last forever. This is just the withdrawal talking."_

_"What do you know?" Izzy bared her teeth. It felt like there were knives in her bones. "Maybe this is all there is."_

_"And maybe it's not," Clary said calmly. "Here, why don't you drink some water?"_

_Izzy hissed at Clary again, but allowed her to help her sit up and drink the water. The first sip was even cooler than Clary's hands, and it tasted like more. She drank deep._

_"Good," Clary said. "Drinking plenty of water will help flush out the -- bad stuff."_

_Demon venom, she meant, but was too polite to say. "Is that true?" Izzy asked._

_Clary shrugged. "It's what Simon's mom always said."_

_And then the pain took her again._

***

They get to the warlock Nimue's storefront with no trouble, for once. It's an interesting place, Izzy has to admit: there are books on shelves and in teetering piles, candles lit and unlit, a couch by the window and another deeper inside, a bust of Elvis, a clear plastic box containing --

"Is that a hedgehog?" Clary asks, going up on tiptoe to peer into the box.

"My familiar," says Nimue, smiling. "He's technically an outlaw -- they're illegal in the city -- but I know a few people."

"Awesome," Clary says. "Is he friendly?"

"For a hedgehog," Nimue says. "Would you like to hold him while I consult with your friend?"

"Ooh, yes, please!" Clary's face lights up. Nimue lifts the hedgehog out of the box; it just looks like a big horse chestnut at first, all prickles, but when it's placed in Clary's hands, an inquisitive little nose appears and starts busily sniffing her.

"Okay, that's pretty cute," Izzy says.

"You two can sit by the window," Nimue tells Clary and, apparently, the hedgehog. "Isabelle, please join me over here."

Izzy does, sitting on the couch across a low table from an armchair, which Nimue settles comfortably into. "So, I guess you know why I'm here," she jokes weakly.

"Of course," Nimue says. "Do you?"

"Sort of," Izzy says. "I know I'm -- at loose ends, so to speak. I thought maybe you could help with that."

"I can try." Nimue shrugs. "It's up to you, in the end. All I can do is offer suggestions."

"Well, I could use some."

"Then let's get started." Nimue pulls a zippered bag out from a pocket in her chair and takes a deck of cards out of it. "Here -- cut the cards."

Izzy does, admiring the black-and-gray pattern on the backs, then hands them back. Nimue shuffles them exactly four times and deals out ten, lightning-fast, from the middle. Seven curve up away from Izzy in an arch, with two below it and one above.

"This is you," Nimue says, flipping the arch's keystone, "the knight of swords: brave, skilled, and impetuous, seeking the truth and approval."

"Her lipstick is on point," Izzy says; the card features a red-lipped mouth biting a strand of beads, and a folding knife stabbing a heart -- whatever that's supposed to mean.

"So's yours," Nimue says. "Then here's the shore you left behind -- the page of wands." The leftmost card is a little kid who reminds Izzy painfully of herself, pre-... pre-everything.

"Yeah, I get that," she says hurriedly. "Next?"

"A lesson you learned -- the five of swords," Nimue says. "This can't have been easy: loss, betrayal, and self-destruction."

"It wasn't," Izzy says.

Nimue doesn't push. "Here's something that helps you -- oh, it's me!" She smiles, her round cheeks making her look like a kid, even though she's got to be at least as old as Izzy's parents. "The high priestess in this position -- I'd say that's a very good sign, since you came here."

"Awesome," Izzy says. "Now what?"

"I'm getting to that." Nimue flips the next card. "Your next step is the chariot -- that means travel, progress, and trying new things."

"Huh. That could be fun." The card shows someone in the back of a pickup truck, under more stars than Izzy's ever seen in her life. It looks nice.

"Sixth is a lesson you must learn." Nimue's mouth twists. "This won't be easy either -- it's the tower."

"That doesn't look very pleasant." This card looks almost like it's been smeared in blood.

"It generally isn't," Nimue says frankly. "It can lead to good things -- new creation after destruction -- but change is often painful. Brace yourself."

Izzy sighs. "Okay. And then?"

"The shore you're heading for -- oh, that's nice! The lovers." Nimue grins at her. "I bet you can guess what they stand for."

To Izzy's mild surprise, both of the figures are apparently female, with their long hair braided together, one's black, the other's gold. "Huh," she says.

"That's the bridge," Nimue tells her, gesturing at the arched shape, all flipped upwards now. "The eighth card stands for the emotional 'water' underlying things for you. That's the hierophant. It has to do with authority and its structures, whether you choose to build within them or reject them." She glances up at Izzy, her gaze sharp. "That seems appropriate for a Shadowhunter -- a Lightwood, no less."

Izzy bites her lip. "Indeed," she says.

"An emotional support, the king of pentacles -- someone steady and disciplined, who loves you." Nimue smiles at that one.

"I don't know how those shoes would suit Alec," Izzy says, admiring the studded ankle-strap platforms the legs on the card are wearing, "but I like that."

"And last but not least, your north star is the queen of wands. She's someone vibrant and enthusiastic, friendly, self-sacrificing, and --"

"Fiery?" Izzy suggests. The way flames spiral up from the eyes looks almost like red hair. It looks -- good.

"A good word," Nimue says, and winks completely un-subtly, glancing over to Clary.

"That's -- not --" Izzy stammers.

"Oh! Of course not." Nimue sweeps up the cards. "Is there anything else?"

"I don't know," Izzy says. "If I'm supposed to travel -- do you know where I'm supposed to go?"

"Hmm." Nimue fans out the cards in her hands. "She does. Clary?"

Clary looks up. The hedgehog is perched on her shoulder. "Yes?"

"Come here and pick a card," Nimue says.

Carefully curving one hand around the hedgehog, Clary comes over and sits next to Izzy. "Uh... this one," she says, drawing one and flipping it over. "Ooh, that's cool."

It is, in an eerie sort of way; there's a single finger pointing upwards, tipped with flame, turning into wood where it should join a hand. "The ace of wands," Nimue says. "That is very interesting indeed."

"What does it mean?" Clary asks. "I mean, I know a little of the symbolism -- new beginnings, passion -- but specifically?"

Nimue sets the cards down. "Have you ever heard the rumor that there was a fourth Mortal Instrument?"

Izzy sucks in a breath. "That's heresy," she says.

"Perhaps."

"We could find it!" Clary says, excited. "That would be good for your family, wouldn't it?"

"It would, if it were real," Izzy says. She takes the card from Clary. It reminds her of something.

"The rumor," Nimue says, "is that the Mortal Wand was a stele that most recently belonged to an Iron Sister at the turn of the 20th century. She was rather famous, even among Mundanes -- Annie Oakley."

"Annie Oakley was a Shadowhunter," Clary says dubiously.

"Obviously," Izzy says. "You didn't think she used some sort of _Mundane_ metal to make all those shots, did you? She made her guns and bullets out of _adamas_."

"I guess that makes sense," Clary allows. "Wow."

"Anyhow, her stele is said to be in a statue of her," Nimue says. "It should only be visible to people with the Sight."

"Izzy, we could find it," Clary says again. "Where's the statue?"

Nimue shrugs. "Ask Google," she says. "It's been a while." Clary pulls out her phone and starts typing.

"Are you for real?" Izzy demands.

"Of course," Nimue says. "Did you have a better plan?"

"Well," Izzy says. "No."

Nimue raises her eyebrows. "You're welcome."

***

"I can't believe they made us drive," Izzy says, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel of the older-model station wagon.

"I can't believe you know _how_ to drive," Clary replies. "It doesn't seem like a very Shadowhunter-y skill."

"Everything is a Shadowhunter-y skill," Izzy informs her. "Do you want to learn?"

"What, on the highway?" Clary looks shocked when Izzy glances over.

"This is the easy part." Izzy waves languidly at the rural scenery. "Literally all we have to do is stay on I-80 for the rest of Pennsylvania."

"I don't even have a learner's permit!"

Izzy rolls her eyes. "Don't worry about that," she says. "As long as you don't do anything dumb, they won't pull you over, so they'll never know."

"You make it sound so simple," Clary says, and laughs. "Maybe I'll just watch you for a while, and I'll try on the way back."

"Fair," Izzy says. She likes the idea of Clary watching her.

They'd left at dawn, to make the most of the day with their ten-hour drive; Maryse and Robert had put their feet down at the idea of portaling on what they were fairly sure was a wild goose chase, and they wouldn't expense plane tickets to Ohio, either. It's a clear, sunny day, and Clary's taste in music is actually pretty good, and Izzy kind of wishes they could go on like this forever.

Clary really is watching her, too -- every time Izzy glances over, Clary's eyes are on her. She can't read them, but she hopes that Clary likes what she sees, in a way that's simultaneously pleasurable and painful.

Nothing gold can stay, though -- Izzy learned that line from a book about gay greasers when she was a teenager -- and at four in the afternoon, they pull into the Annie Oakley Memorial Plaza in Greenville, Ohio. The statue is tall and bronze, and to Izzy's Sight, it shimmers with power.

"Boost me up," Clary demands. "I can see the stele!" She starts to scramble up the pedestal, toes slipping on the stone.

"I'm coming!" Izzy grabs Clary by the hips and hoists her up, trying not to think about how good Clary's body feels pressed against her own. "Can you reach?"

"I think -- I -- got it!" Clary cries.

Izzy helps her down. "Let's look at it in that gazebo," she suggests, waving in its general direction, figuring Mundanes are less likely to stare at them there.

"Cool," Clary says. They sit on the shady benches in the gazebo and admire the stele.

"So do you think it's really the Mortal Wand?" Izzy asks. She runs a finger down the length of it and shivers.

"Yes," Clary says. Her voice sounds strange, and Izzy wonders if that's her extra angel blood, or whatever. "It's -- it's something special."

"That's good," Izzy says. The air is charged between them, whether from the power of the stele or -- something else. She wants to kiss Clary very badly. If Clary were a guy, Izzy knows exactly how she'd do it, but she thinks maybe the rules are different for girls, and --

Clary kisses her. Izzy's an expert, so she barely hesitates before kissing back, even though her head is full of sparkling exclamation points. It's not that different, really, except in the way that everything is different with Clary -- that edge of wonder. She slides one hand into Clary's flame-red hair, shifting the angle a little, and Clary moans.

"I think," Izzy says, and stops to kiss her again. "I think we should drive back tomorrow morning."

"Mmm," Clary says, eyes closed. "And what should we do until then?"

"I don't know," Izzy says. "Have any ideas?"

***

The teenaged clerk at the Holiday Inn gives them a truly impressive eyeroll and keycards to a king-bed room. Izzy doesn't care. What matters is getting into the room, stopping Clary's giggles with a kiss, peeling them both out of their clothes, touching her _everywhere_ \--

Clary pushes up on her elbows, naked and spread out on the sheets. "Come on," she says. "Stop messing around. I know you know what to do."

Izzy looks up from between her thighs, soft skin over whipcord muscle. "I like your legs," she says. "It's called _foreplay._ "

"Is that another Shadowhunter-y skill?" Clary teases her. "Come up here and kiss me."

"If you insist." Izzy kisses her way up Clary's body to her mouth, letting her nipples trail over Clary's skin. When they're aligned, Clary wraps both of her legs greedily around one of Izzy's thighs. "Oh, good idea."

"I'm smart like that," Clary says, grinding up and biting down and making Izzy's brain short-circuit. "Yeah, like that -- aah!"

"Did you just come?" Izzy asks, curious and kind of impressed.

"Yep." Clary looks smug, and then she flips Izzy onto her back and slides down. "Do you like oral?"

"Uh, yeah," Izzy says. "Are you offering?"

"Mm-hmm." Clary licks her, spreads her open and licks her again, and oh, by the angel Raziel --

" _Clary,_ " she says, a little desperately, and Clary slides two fingers into her and crooks them, and oh, fuck, that's even better. It's not long before Izzy is coming her brains out.

Not only is Clary good at sex and finding Mortal Instruments and inventing runes, she makes a great little spoon. Izzy doesn't know what to think.

***

In the morning, Izzy lets go of her warm armful of Clary and goes to take a shower, then puts on her spare underwear -- always be prepared -- and heads out to get Starbucks, for both of them. She always does this after one-night stands; the weird part is that she's planning on going back.

Clary sits up, hair wild, when Izzy pushes the door open with her hip. "You left," she says, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her hand.

"Well, yeah," Izzy says. "I came back." She holds out the latte and muffin she bought for Clary like a peace offering.

"Is this -- how it is?" Clary asks, taking them. "You just leave?"

"It's what I always do," Izzy says.

Clary gets up and puts her clothes back on with jerky motions. "Fine," she says.

"...okay?" Izzy tries.

"I can't believe you! Don't I mean anything to you?" she shouts.

"Of course you do! What is happening right now?"

As the words leave Izzy's mouth, Clary reaches out to touch the Mortal Wand -- and vanishes. Shocked, Izzy sits down at the desk, sets down her coffee, and pulls out her phone to text her. _what just happened?_

_Read 9:43 am_

Well, at least she's got her phone, wherever she went. Izzy's relieved.

_Who did you find to portal Clary here?_ appears on the screen. It's Magnus. _And why only her?_

_is she safe?_ Izzy sends back.

_She's furious but unharmed. Where are you, Isabelle?_

_greenville, OH. about to drive back. thanks_

***

The thing is -- Clary really does mean a lot to Izzy. She hadn't actually wanted to leave when she woke up, and it seems now like Clary would've been happier if she'd stayed. Izzy's not used to that -- or, rather, she's not used to caring one way or another.

She can't deny it anymore, she realizes, retracing their path over the mid-Atlantic countryside. She loves Clary.

Fuck. Now what?

It's not like she's ever cared much about what her parents or the Clave think about her. She's always been the one to act out, sucking focus away from Alec so no one would guess his secret -- only now his secret is out, and she's got a similar one.

Maybe Alec will switch jobs with her. He and Magnus can take up some of the attention while Izzy figures things out with Clary.

She drives, and drives, and drives. It's much less interesting without Clary's gaze on her -- cows, and grass, and more cows, and more grass, and only her own music to keep her mind occupied. She doesn't like it.

***

It's not hard to find Clary, once Izzy gets back to the city. It really is sort of like she's her north star -- Izzy feels like some internal compass is pulling her towards the Jade Wolf, where Clary is desultorily eating chow mein under her sort-of-dad's watchful werewolf eyes.

"Hi," Izzy says, standing by her table.

"Hi," Clary says.

"I'm sorry. I -- didn't think."

"I should have said something instead of disappearing." Clary waves for her to sit down. "I just want you to talk to me. I care about you, Izzy. We don't have to be exclusive, or whatever, but I want to know what you want."

"You," Izzy says, and almost knocks over Clary's water leaning in to kiss her.

"Okay," Clary says, smiling. "I can work with that."

They kiss and kiss, just barely tasting each other, until Werewolf Dad clears his throat, and Izzy backs down, a little bit embarrassed. This caring-what-people-think business is no fun, and it reminds her that nothing's really changed -- the Mortal Wand is in Clary's purse, and they have to bring it before the Clave, and who knows what the Downworlders will think --

\-- but she has her queen of wands to guide her, and she thinks that, just maybe, things will be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> annie oakley memorial plaza is [real](http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/12187).
> 
> the tarot deck referenced in the story is [slow holler](http://slowholler.com/), which is really awesome -- i changed the names of the cards to the more familiar ones for the sake of the story making sense to more people.
> 
> here are [izzy's reading and clary's card](http://imgur.com/a/w38Rx).


End file.
